Monday, September 9, 2013

Dialogue 9/9/13

Mae and Marie are twins. One afternoon after volleyball they were stopping for an icee at the gas station. While they were checking out, just as they both put there icee's down on the counter, a man with black sweatpants and a black hoodie ran in the gas station panting like he had just ran a mile. Mae and Marie stood in shock and full of fear.

"On the ground!," The unknown man screamed as loud as he could as everyone in the store dropped to the floor. "Wheres the money?!"

"Here take it," The cashier replied with a shaky voice.

"Don't say anything!," The man said in an antagonized voice.

"We won't," Mae and Marie said at the same time very quietly.

The man looked very nervous. He kept looking around to make sure no one was behind or around him Mae and Marie had wondered what he had done before this, because all of a sudden, the sound of police sirens rang in their ears. About ten cop cars surrounded the scene.

"I didn't!," shouted the man as five policeman tacked him to the ground, "I swear,! "he said as he was cuffed and taken out of the store.

"What just happened,?" Mae said as she was crying with apprehensiveness.

"I don't know," replied Marie, " lets just go."

Mae and Marie ran to there car leaving the icee's behind. They immediately called there mom and told her what was going on, and that they were safe and on there way home. What the unknown man had done before was a mystery to the both of them.











2 comments:

  1. Hey Audrey! OMG! Your blog is so good. The anticipation was killing me! I can not believe that, that had happened. I would have been so scared if I were them. I really want to know what the man did, i thought u were going to tell us at the end! Are these two girls your friends or are they related to you?
    Keep up the amazing blogging!

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  2. Audrey, this is a powerful dialogue. One thing to keep in mind with punctuating dialogue is that a comma replaces a period when the quotation ends but the sentence continues. However, when you have a question mark or exclamation mark, you just leave it at that. So it would be: "I didn't!" shouted the man... You also used one of the most rare forms of punctuation in this dialogue: the interrobang (?! - just a cool word to know).

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